2006-05-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

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It seems as though SEX has become a dirty word once again in our vocabulary. With the "free love" of the 60's long gone and the "me" generation now focusing more upon their children than themselves...it seems sex has taken a backseat in the new, ultraconservative era we live in. The irony is...sexual imagery has never been more prevalent. Female music artists are encouraged to look seductive, alluring and even downright slutty to sell records. Music videos are filled with imagery suggesting sex or the simulation of it. Popular songs with titles such as I'm in luv wit a stripper, Beep and Hollaback girl fill the airwaves with double meanings and suggestions of sex. So what's going on then? Why is it that sex is still relevant in a world where Neocons and The Religious Right keep pointing their judgmental fingers at us?

Because SEX sells baby, and it ain't goin nowhere...
We have a primordial need within us for sex. We like to talk about it, look at it, read about it and most importantly...have it. And if we can't get it at the time...we'll find a way to buy it. That can come in many forms. From the music we listen to with sexually suggestive lyrics, to movies we watch and buy with sexually suggestive scenes. We are a culture obsessed with SEX. Yet we shamefully deny this. The reason being... because others keep trying to tell you it's wrong, bad and shameful. These are usually the same fat, old, conservative white men who keep trying to tell a woman what she can and can not do with her body. When a person TRIES to tell others what they can do with their bodies, or what they can view, it only makes a person want to do it more. And so they should! If a WOMAN, and I said woman, not girl, wants to have an abortion or offer her body for sex...It is HER RIGHT!

Whoever thinks they have the right to tell another adult what they can do in regards to sex is insane. An adult did not go through all the bullshit with their parents and their schooling to become an adult to have others tell them what they can do. It is bullshit! You have a mind, body and sexual organs attached to that body that have needs and wants. Now when you're a kid and an adult tells you what you SHOULD do that's different. But when you're adult that is working, paying bills and living your life...you can do whatever the hell you want. It is YOUR freedom of choice. It is YOUR right to view and conduct yourself sexually in whichever way you choose to do so. Sexual Power is something that every person posesses in one way or another.

How a person chooses to use that sexual power is entirely up to them. There are so many variations of sex nowadays. Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual and even Metrosexual. You name it...it exists. Some individuals have particular fetishes while others may be into S & M or bondage. Who cares? One is not better than the other nor is one more "normal" than the other. Individuals need to get past their preconceived notions of the way they view sexual practices. If one does not want to be judged in regards to their sexual practices, they need to extend the same courtesy to others. This is REAL sexual freedom. By allowing other consenting adults to express their sexual desires in anyway they choose, an individual is freeing up themselves, and allowing full expression of their own desires.

Fiends, peers and colleagues of mine have debated this question with me numerous times over. Some have stated - "You believe that individuals should have the right to express themselves sexually in any way they see fit?" Absolutely I answer. They usually shoot back something along the lines of - "What about pedophiles and child pornography?" I usually look at them at this point and say...I said CONSENTING ADULTS if you remember. Did I ever say ANYTHING about an adult taking advantage of an undeveloped libido? No, I did not. When a person molests a child or engages in any form of sex with a child, it is usually because they themselves somewhere down the line were shamed about sex. They were taught that it was bad. In turn to gain power sexually, they try and take advantage of the undeveloped libido to give themselves a sense of sexual power. When a person's libido is developing and it is damaged, this can cause a vicious cycle of inflicting this on to others.

There is a BIG difference in a person engaging in sexual fantasy roleplay as far as being tied up and spanked with another adult, than there is with an adult taking advantage of an innocent child. I tell them to THINK THINK THINK...Use your adult head for once and think. Nowhere have I ever advocated the misuse of a developing child, not even in historical texts such as the Greeks who practiced this regularly. A person should be allowed to develop to full maturation without the fear of sex being thrusted upon them too early. And now this brings me back to my point. In our culture as it stands now, sex is being masked and marketed to kids. Young girls are encouraged to emulate and dress like the 15 year old popstars who dress seductively and sell songs to them that are laden with sexual overtones. They are encouraged to emulate 16 year old models who pose seductively on the pages of magazines wearing clothing that most 30 year old, Jr. Executive women can not even afford.

Why is this? Because in this society sex is taboo once again. So once again it is swept under the carpet from ADULTS and conservatives are trying to shame adults for their desires. All in the name to "protect" kids. Really, is that so? Hmmmmm...I beg to differ. If that were the case, then why would the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, who are both of legal age (NOW) have been allowed to writhe suggestively and simulate sex in music videos if conservatives were really concerned. Because it's bullshit! The Adult Industry has come under ferocious attack from conservatives stating they are doing this to "protect" kids. BULLSHIT!!! They have ferociously threatened adult sites with ridiculous legislations in regards to record keeping. Stating to them if they do not comply then they face up to 5 years in prison. 5 years in prison because some webmaster doesn't have model records of an 18 year old girl who may look 16.

Yet it is ok for a record company executive to take a 15 year old girl, dress her like a prostitute and pimp her to the world. This is ok though. MOST of the Adult Industry has always been responsible for the models they use. In that industry the use of underage performers has always been looked down upon. Most "normal" people think that The Adult Industry is filled with a bunch of sleazoids and scumbags. This couldn't be any further from the truth. Yes there are scumbags in that industry just as there are in any industry, but they are fewer than what people think. Most Adult Industry providers are concerned with one thing and one thing only, and that is providing ADULTS with outlets to fullfill their sexual desires. And what is wrong with that? Absolutely nothing! Because I have some news for you. It is ADULTS who pay for the internet...not KIDS. And as such...adults should have the right to view any damn thing they want.

It is amazing to me however that the "normal" Entertainment Industry has not been ostracized by these nannies in the way the Adult Industry has. When it is quite apparent that young girls are being exploited and paraded in front of millions upon millions of people for billions of dollars to sell one thing...SEX! Hmmmmmm, never thought of it that way before have you? Ehhhhh emmmm...The O.C....SEX! Dawson's Creek...SEX! Yet they hide behind a veneer of "art". The one thing the Adult Industry has never done is hide it's intentions. It's about sex straightup. Yet it is done with the intentions of marketing towards adults...not kids. With these new legislations in place it is becoming more and more difficult for ADULTS to find satisfying, responsible Sex Sites and Sexual Information. As I am finishing up my third year, preparing for my career as a Sex Therapist, I thought I would compile a list of sites, directories and resources pertaining to sex. Quality sites which I feel can assist an ADULT in exploring their GOD GIVEN RIGHT to fullfilling their sexual desires. They are not in any particular order, but they are sites which I feel represent a well rounded aspect of SEX.

List of Sex related links in no particular order

SEX TOY LINKS

Buy69.com

In my humble opinion I believe this to be the absolute best Adult Sex Toy site on the internet. These people have everything. And when I say everything...I mean EVERYTHING! With over 50,000 Adult products in stock you'll be sure to find something for those arousing evenings alone or with that special friend. They also have Adult DVDs and Adult Magazines. Gay, Straight, Lesbian - you name it, and they've got it. Their site logo is Buy69.com The Sex Superstore and by golly it is. I have ordered numerous products as gifts for friends and eh emmm myself. This site continually impresses me.

SEX THERAPY LINKS
Society for Sex Therapy and Research

The Society for Sex Therapy and Research is composed of a broad range of professionals who have clinical or research interests in human sexual concerns. Their goals are to facilitate communications among clinicians who treat problems of sexual function, sexual identity, and reproductive life, and to provide a forum for exchange of ideas between those interested in research in human sexuality and those whose primary activities are patient care.

American Association of Sex Counselors, Educators and Therapists

The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) is a not-for-profit, professional organization. In addition to sexuality educators, sex counselors and sex therapists, AASECT members include physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, allied health professionals, clergy members, lawyers, sociologists, marriage and family counselors and therapists, family planning specialists and researchers, as well as students in relevant professional disciplines. These individuals share an interest in promoting understanding of human sexuality.

Sexualhealth.com

The Sexual Health Network is dedicated to providing easy access to sexuality information, education and support.

Sexualtherapy.com

Sexualtherapy.com's mission is to provide their clients who are in need of sex therapy with access to a sex therapist's directory on a national basis. In addition, a sex test for diagnosis of sexual problems and sex tapes and sex books for self help are provided. The use of their site should allow you to begin to solve any sexual problem or sexual dysfunction you may have. Thank God for people like this!

Relate.org.uk

Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through their website. A great sexual resource for those in the United Kingdom.

Lesbian Sex Links

Lesbian.com

I think the name pretty much sums it up, but if you have been living on a desert island somewhere I'll explain. A Lesbian is a woman who is attracted to and enjoys intimacy and sex with other women. Lesbians do not like to be referred to as Lesbian women. They are Lesbians...period! Lesbian.com is a wonderful resource site for Lesbians exploring the realms of Lesbian Erotica and everyday Lesbian Lives. The Lesbians that run this site are SO COOL that they have even added links for horny straight boys looking for Lesbian Porn. Now you gotta be a pretty damn cool Lesbian to do that.

Swade.net

Ok, here's a cool concept. A Lesbian who runs a Lesbian site offering resources for REAL Lesbian Erotica. You must be a Lesbian or Bisexual woman to enter the site. Who would have thought. As she plainly states upon her site. Straight men would not be interested in REAL Lesbian Eortica because a lot of times it has nothing to do with sex, and is more concerned with intimacy concerning Lesbian Sex. Wow...sex and intimacy who would have ever imagined? I encourage Lesbian women that are coming to terms with their sexuality to visit this most informative site.

List to be continually updated...Stay tuned!

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